An Open Letter to ID Proponents

Dear Intelligent Design Proponent:

I see that it looks like the Intelligent Design (ID) media machine is back in gear, this time with a bass-ackwards enough school system in Pennsylvania adopting your belief system into their science curriculum. I had read about this via a link from the NSTA a week or so ago.

Here's my question to your chiefs over at the ID headquarters. What does your agenda have to do with science education? Not a simple enough question even though you can count to 12 on your fingers? Let me explain.

Evolution is taught in the science classroom for a reason. It's not the reason that you want to think. It's not taught to provide an origin for species on the planet. It's not taught for people to believe in anything. It's not taught to get the students to critically think about science or their religion. It's not taught because scientists are anti-Christian. It's not taught because we teachers want to undermine your Biblical teachings.

Evolution is taught because it works.

What do I mean by it works? Do I mean that it tells us where we all came from and where we'll be going? Absolutely not. Do I mean that it successfully crushes the theological beliefs of our students? Single, double, and triple no.

Evolution works because it provides a model. A model for predicting changes in an organism over time just like the Theory of Gravity tries to explain why objects with mass seem to "pull" on each other. Why is it important to predict changes in an organism? Well, how about the fact that the pharmaceutical industry pretty much depends on it? Whether it's preempting the next outbreak of a mutating pathogen or modifying bacteria to produce artificial insulin, evolution works. How about the fact that it can help to bolster crop production by creating better pesticides to kill pests but not plants or by even creating new crops with more nutrition? How about the fact that most of the advances in developing a cure for AIDS and cancer have been based entirely on evolutionary principles? How about the simple fact that it makes learning biology easier? We want the kids to have good grades, right? What other reasons do you want, because there are a hell of a lot more.

I am sure that the Intelligent Design theory has its merits. I am not asking for a detailed explanation, I understand the basics. But like any theory it has its flaws.

In order to consider including ID in a science curriculum, my sole question to you is this: What has your Intelligent Design theory done for the science community lately?

Sincerely,
Chris N.

Obscure Corporate Bowl Game 2004

Is it just me or is the college bowl situation getting more and more dilute every season? Perhaps it's thanks to the current trend of being "fair" to everyone, everyone gets to participate. I think it draws away from the privilege that bowl games used to seem to afford. It's great for the teams I suppose. A little chump change for the team and a nice trip as long as it's not to East Bumblefuck, Idaho like the Tech bowl game last season. I don't necessarily believe that the current eight consecutive bowl game streak for Tech compares to the six straight in the 50's under Bobby Dodd. Hell, there's even a bowl game sponsored by Vitalis now. I can't even find a website that tells me what the hell Vitalis is. After a few years of whoopin' up on Directional State University, maybe they'll go further down the chain and start letting high school teams into the bowl games.

Anyhow, it seems like Tech has gotten itself into the Champs Sports Bowl, formerly the Carquest Bowl, formerly who the hell knows what? (I'm pretty sure it was the Tangerine Bowl) At least we'll be playing a team from the Big 12 and not Team Congeniality like the last few years. Thank God that Clemson removed themselves from bowl eligibility so we could get an east coast bowl this year.

And talk about some real shit. What the hell is up with Oklahoma being ahead of USC in the BCS computer rankings? Bullshit! I hope to hell that one of those teams loses and Auburn wins this weekend.

I still think that college football needs a bad-ass tournament style championship like basketball has. Start with the top 16 or 32 teams and let them brawl. It's a gambling man's wet dream come true.

How NOT to Make White Cake

A little behind, mostly due to the holiday and a new project.

About two weeks ago, two girls at the middle school directly across the street decided they would bring a cake to school. But this wasn't just any ordinary cake apparently. Unconfirmed analysis says the secret ingredient was bleach.

From a Philadelphia ABC affiliate:

The father said the two girls began playing around in the kitchen the night before the incident after growing bored.

"It was not any kind of malicious intent," he said. "They thought it would be funny. They know it's not funny now."

The father said his daughter was diagnosed this summer with Asperger's syndrome, and that doctors told him the girl should not be in a conventional school setting. Asperger's is an autism-related condition characterized by social and communication deficiencies.

What the hell is wrong with the parents around here? "Oh, shit. My child did something completely and utterly stupid, not to mention harmful to others. It's only because of a disorder!" Here's the disorder. You didn't do your job as a parent. Even if you had her diagnosed with some rare and unlikely syndrome, you didn't follow doctor advice that she not be in a "conventional school setting." Does that mean you didn't believe them or were you just storing that one in the "break in case of emergency" bank when she did something even people with an IQ of less than 60 wouldn't do? "They thought it would be funny." What kind of sick, totally twisted sense of humor does this middle school kid have? Didn't you take a hint that time she stuck a lighter up the cat's ass?

It seems like our excuses for not rearing our children properly have degenerated into searching WebMD for the latest, greatest mental disorder. At least he was slightly original and didn't blame it on ADHD.

Name that school!

In a staff e-mail from yesterday:

Please help make the staff and community aware that several new school-naming committees will begin their work this month. Recommendations for naming Northwest Middle and West Cobb Middles schools are welcome.

As a reminder Rule FDC, which can be accesssed on the CCSD website, governs the naming of schools.

The public is invited to submit names for new schools no later than Friday, December 17, 2004.

Apparently "Directional County" isn't descriptive enough anymore.

Any suggestions?

We're supposed to be scared?

Funny that Walter Williams writes about this topic on a day when I've already been thinking about it.

Walking down the hall today, a colleague witnessed as a male student pushed a female student as they were walking. My friend touched the "gentleman's" shoulder to get his attention order to request that he not repeat the incident. Before he could say anything, the guy blew up and said "Get your hands off of me!" My friend, an ex-Marine, obviously didn't take this lightly and I don't know exactly what he said in reply, but you can imagine. Then, the kid says, "Man, you're lucky I don't stick you." What?!? Stick him? As in with a knife or something? I prefer to think it was a homosexual advance, but what the hell? His response to being touched is to stab someone? Who in the world gave him the idea that this is an appropriate way to solve a problem? I'm not even saying my colleague was right, but to stab someone? That's pretty severe.

If I were in the situation, I'd have requested that he actually follow through with his threat. That way, assuming he didn't hit anything vital, I would likely qualify for worker's comp, while I'm laying up in the hospital talking to my lawyers about how much money I'm suing this kid and his family for. Hell, I might actually make a decent take-home for the year after all is said and done. I might make it up to the ranks of minimum wage! Sweet!

Now That's Accountability!!

Supposedly, this is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

Apparently, this is the actual answering machine message for the school:

"Hello! You have reached the automatic answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff person, please listen to all your options before making a selection.

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2

To complain about what we do - Press 3

To swear at staff members - Press 4

To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

To request another teacher for the third time this year - Press 8

To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

To complain about school lunches - Press 0

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not the teacher's fault for your child's lack of effort ... hang up and have a nice day!"

Asshats!

I feel like I'm a moderately intelligent guy. A little research usually clears things up a little and I'm able to come to pretty decent conclusions in most cases. But when I started searching for answers to some simple questions today, I really ended up with more questions than answers. Allow me to explain.

Let me start by referring to an AJC article that describes a request to save money by increasing science class sizes from 28 to 30 was approved by the GA Board Of Ed just yesterday. Supposedly, this saves our county alone $4 million, but I'd like to see figures on that one. First, they change the science standards and focus on a more hands-on approach, which I am in favor of. Then, a move that seems to hinder more than help teachers create more hands-on experiences is made. I guess that they heard the old saying and decided to 'want' and 'shit' in the SAME hand.

Apparently, the measure passed with a 7-6 vote. So, naturally, I wanted to know which district reps voted each way. This is where I got uber-confused. Upon further inspection, and I'm no trained professional on the subject of drawing district lines, but I think it fairly obvious that there may be just a wee bit of gerrymandering going on here. I mean, look at Districts 8, 11, 13, 12 and 1. They're the most obvious and account for almost half of the districts. Hell, our county is represented by at least three board members, and in no seemingly logical manner.

If my interpretation is correct, I think my rep voted against, but I can't really tell. I can't tell if I'm in District 11 or not and he's the only one in the area that voted 'yes.'

I thought it was hard to find enough room for 28 kids in here, but now I have to find room for 2 more in one class. Keep in mind that I've got mostly 11th graders and that they tend to be pretty big people by that age. And I just can't wait to do a lab with fire!

Back 2 Skool

Super, after Teacher Meeting Week (aka pre-planning), we finally started school again yesterday. Or as I tell everyone else, I have to go back to my "real job." My fun job was working for Sweetwater Brewing Company this summer. Unfortunately, Sweetwater Brewing Company doesn't pay enough to cover bills and student loans.

There is one thing to be said for being a moderately intelligent person. You can become a specialist in certain subjects, such as AP Chemistry and the robotics course that you developed so that you avoid getting stuck with what I like to call the sweathog classes. You know, the classes where they put kids who either are too stupid to really want to go to school or whose parents can't accept the fact that their kid really will not be successful in a real post-secondary environment. I say "real" because there are probably quite a few Devry schools UGA where they wouldn't have too much trouble.

Typically, by now I'd already have a lot of funny stories to tell about some moron kid in my class. The problem is, this time I only have honors and AP classes. I guess being a boring blogger is highly preferable to spending my time trying to keep 28 kids under control so I can teach the 3-4 that actually give a shit.

So, to make it a little less boring, a past anecdote.

On the first day of my first teaching gig, upon telling the students that it was my first job, I get this one.

Student: "So here at [School X], teachers don't really assign homework all that often."

Me: walk to the board...saying "Repeat after me..." all the while writing "Crack is Wack" on the board

Guilt-free after all these years!

Maybe you had to have grown up in Georgia to appreciate this gem, but maybe not.

Gracious thanks to you, Walter Williams. Many gracious thanks.

Which British Band Are You?

Which British Band Are You?

I'm such a sucker for "personality" quizzes!

Freddie Keith, Take 2

Can reincarnation happen before you're dead?

Maybe they're right when they say history repeats itself. I just didn't expect it so quickly or in the immediate family.

Is it bad when you start comparing family members to one another? That might be cause for bad karma but I'll risk it anyway.

Is it bad when you can't learn from the mistakes of others? Maybe it's just too hard when you're caught up in the situation. Perhaps it requires being an outsider to make a decent, non-subjective observation or two.

What I'm trying to get to is that I think that my cousin is ending up exactly like my dad. I don't think it's intentional, just like I don't think my dad intentionally screwed up his life. It just kind of happened through some network in the decision making matrices encountered through life. It's easy to get lost in once you get off of a good path.

My poor cousin. I love the guy to death. We're practically brothers and pretty much grew up as such, despite the whole not having the same parents thing. I feel like I should have been there for him a little better than I have been lately. Stereotype modern-day love life. Falls in love, gets married, has a kid, gets divorced. Turns out she's with the ex-"best friend" now. Guy was always shady anyhow. Not that I blame him, just saying he was sketchy.

Well, that's the quick version of how to get to now. Same thing happened to my dad. Sort of. Perhaps in a slightly different order, but I digress. (I'm trying to say that the 'conceiving a kid' part might not necessarily be after the 'gets married' part but that's not abundantly clear) Then after the big D, the slide into the self-destructive decision-making process.

For my dad, it was a woman named Vicky. She had three kids, probably by different dads.

For my cousin, it's the new girl. (name withheld for whatever reason) She has three kids, definitely by different dads.

My dad, got married to the lady.

Cousin? Reportedly going to marry the girl. Haven't heard it from him, but from his brother.

My dad? Ended up with a second divorce.

Cousin? Who knows, but if the prophecy is holding true thus far...

I guess I could really care less what he does. It's his life, I'm not his father, blah blah blah, etc. But the one I worry about in this situation is my cousin's son. I'm just afraid that the same shit is going to happen with him that happened to me. The only thing is, he doesn't have a good mom to fall back on like I did.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he's right. Like I said, I haven't been too good of a "brother" lately to really know all. I just know my gut feeling from my interactions with the new couple. All of this crap in my cousin's life started when a lot of new stuff was going on in my life. Starting a new job, getting married, getting a new house. We saw each other a lot when we played in a band together, but that broke up just a little before the proverbial feces hit the oscillator as well. I guess the drive time and all just finally got the best of me. It's not an excuse, just a reason.

I guess not growing up with real siblings, it's kind of hard for me to know what to do. What does the good brother do? Do they try to make sure the other one knows what they're getting into? Or do they just let it be and let time decide? Is it easier or better to be a dick upfront and be wrong, or to just keep your mouth shut and secretly think "see, I knew it!"?

Horsesh!t!!

compensation: (1) a 30-something buying an expensive sports-car; (2) a Democratic National Convention speech

Yeah, I know. Boring. Lame-o. The DNC. Why did I watch it? Really? I am lazy. Well, not really. I was washing the dishes and the remote was around the other side of the kitchen "island." You'd have to know my house to understand, I guess. Can you really call it lazy when I was cleaning, though? Do those two acts cancel each other out? Washing dishes and not going around to change the channel? Eh, it was just background noise and anger is really good when channeled into a dishrag.

My main observation is that Mrs. E. and her precious husband seemed to go on and on about only the things that the Dem party is weak on. Of course she had to spend most of her time touting their religion, and what a good church-going man her husband is, and how they go to church, and how they fear God, and... well, you get the point.

And him with his speeches about how tough he and his running mate, who by the way was in Vietnam, are. We're manly men! Look at our penises! Men! We're going to bring in other nations when we take over shit and by-golly, they're going to like us. They're really going to like us! Look at me, I'm just so gee-golly darned cute!

Rich people? You've been bad! We're going to take your money and give it to other people who deserve it more than you do. Come on, it's not like you worked to earn it! I'm sure you'll smile when John and John are on your doorstep to tag team 'dat azz. I'm so adorable!

And of course he had to talk about those people that need a "little help." You know the ones. The old people who forgot to save up a little so they could afford health insurance in their later years. Sorry, we didn't realize that stuff was going to cost money in the future. My bad! All of those starving kids all over the nation? We got you covered! Mommy and, if you're lucky, Daddy won't have to be responsible for taking care of you any more! We'll gladly do it! The mom having to work because her husband got called up from the Reserves. She wouldn't have to exchange goods and/or services for monetary compensation if he hadn't been called overseas for something he volunteered for. She could be sitting on her fat, lazy watching her stories instead of having to work. Isn't that what every wife/mother does? Noe of those other women have to work! Don't you worry, though! Voting for me and my pal John will ensure that "hope (aka your free lunch) is on the way!" Ain't I cute? And look, I can pronounce "ain't" right!

I'm sure the Republican convention will be just as amusing/infuriating. These things are all about looking good at what you really stink at. The RNC will probably have a lot of photo ops for Blacks and Hispanics to send the whole "see? Your people are Republicans, too!" message.

In the meantime, I go back to work next week (yay!, not). I guess I'll just have to pay the bills the old-fashioned way until next year. You know, by working.

37,260 : 133,784,560

I played poker last night with some buddies. We get together, $5 buy-in that lasts quite a while. None of us are in any position to play with much more and I never understood how playing with more money was supposed to be better or "more fun." I suppose there is that whole "win more" possibility, but there's that whole "lose more" part, too.

Late in the evening, I was trying to either win big, or lose big. I had about $4 of my original $5 at this point. In one hand, I get a pocket spade 3 and heart 5. Oh, why not? Sucky cards, but maybe I'll get lucky with the straight.

On the flop, the 2-3-4 of hearts all come up. Now I have 4/5 for a straight flush. I stil have to admit, the probability of the A or 6 in the next two cards sort of sucks. Why not? 50 cents!

Next card down is something not helpful. Still one card? Crappy odds, but it's going to cost you $1. One person stays in. I really have nothing else in my hand if one of those two cards I need or antoher to make a pair comes up, so thus far, I've bought the pot.

Last card... the A of hearts. All in! $2 and change. Dude wimped out, mostly because 4/5 of a straight was showing on the table. I don't blame him. Typically, I wouldn't show what I had if I won like that, but we're totally not professionals and the probablity of getting that hand again anytime soon is really freakin' low.

I was up a few bucks late in the evening and I had to drive a friend home who actually had to go to work today. First, I was trying to lose and not succeeding. Then the luck ran out and a few big hands sent me home with nothing. But I don't feel too badly about losing. 5+ hours of entertainment for $5? Hell that's cheaper and longer than the matinee these days.

Extreme Makeover!!

Enjoy the new look. I don't know how "appropriate" it is, but it looks way cooler than the old scheme.

Now with comments!!

Your low-carb alternative to those other blogs!

Why I Don't Have Kids

At Mother's Day, my grandmother offered a very scary suggestion. She simply stated that perhaps next year my wife would be a mother. So, I've started a list of exactly why that is probably unlikely, barring some sort of huge accident.

Reason #1
I'm selfish. Sorry, but I didn't spend all damn day studying for 5 years during college to spend all damn day cleaning up and caring for a rugrat. There's much to be done and shit to be seen before I start seeing the shit in the diaper.

Reason #2
Every family gathering has turned into the most effective form of birth control imaginable. Forget the pill, we use feuding ex-es, screaming undisciplined children, and general overall white trashdom. It's pretty bad when the only person you want to talk to at family gatherings is your mother and she's too busy acting as a parent to the 10 or so kids that don't belong to her. The worst part is she's way better at it and she's hasn't been practicing for years.

Reason #3
I get my daily dose of parenting at work for 4/5 of the year.

Reason #4
My father. I don't want anything going on in my life that gives him any reason to want to be a part of it again. The last straw was not coming to my wedding.

Reason #5
I'm not ready to be "those people." You know, the ones with the obnoxious kids at the restaurant, or the ones with the kids who talk during the entire movie, even if it is just crappy ol' Shrek 2. They probably don't even realize how obnoxious it is, it's probably much worse at home.

To be continued...perhaps...

Censored, For Your Protection

It'd be nice if people would actually read once in a while. More specifically, if we'd read the document that our nation was founded upon. Even more specifically, the part that was added so that they could get enough signatures. You remember, right? The Bill of Rights? The first ten amendments? To be overly blatant, the very first amendment? If you don't know what I'm talking about, perhaps you have graduated or will graduate from one of our nation's finest public schools.

Seems some jackass who probably barely made it through the system and then probably went on to pursue a post-secondary degree in physical education is making the decision that a very basic tenet of maintaining democratic principles in our nation is not applicable within the halls of the school that he presides over. The principal has decided that poetry is not allowed at his school because of a student poem that criticized the war in Iraq and the "No Child Left Behind" policy of the current US administration. I'm not saying I agree with the girl, I don't even know what she wrote and I'm not against the war, but give me a break! I guess we should amend the Constitution to read "free speech unless Gary Tripp, high school principal, doesn't like it."

Small minds running the exact institutions of learning that are supposed to be contributing to making people not small-minded? Even as I look at the schools in my area, the same types of people are running the majority of the schools. I don't understand. I guess it all comes down to where you have friends. Or perhaps you were a state championship winning coach or something. Who knows?

I'd be honored if I weren't offered a renewal contract from the likes of Gary Tripp.

White Trash Wedding

Billy Idol never sang about this one.

First, it's not a first wedding. Oddly that goes first. Cousin's wedding. Won't get too particular so I don't get sued. Didn't want to go, figured I'd just go to the third.

Second, male processional accompanied by country tune on stereo boombox. I didn't even know they had male processionals. Much less one that played for 3-plus minutes when it takes 10 seconds to walk out a side door and stand up front. Awkward wait follows.

Third, being given away by 3-yr old child from the first marriage. Asked him if he'd "give this woman in marraige." He says "no." Grimaces of pain from holding back maniacal laughter quickly ensue.

Fourth, catering by ex-step-mom-in-law. If that relation makes any sense to you, you'd probably understand why I stuck to third-party wedding cake.

Fifth, redneck friends royally f-up brand new Boxy Monstrosity SUV. This includes hiding sardines somewhere unknown, maybe under one of the many car seats, and pouring bubble solution in AC vents. When asked why, simple response of "so it'll blow bubbles when they turn it on."

Yay, maybe I can have this much fun on my next first weekend without school-related extracurricular events.

For Those About to Bot, We Salute You!

Our robotics team cleaned up at the Peachtree Regional FIRST Robotics competition this weekend. That probably means squat to the average reader. Perhaps you should go here or maybe here to figure out what the heck I'm talking about. And if you haven't been, you probably won't understand.

I spent the weekend with split loyalties between the robotics team and the academic bowl team. The latter had a good first year showing at State championships. The previous had a phenomenal showing for their second year. They brought home the Team Spirit award, the Regional Championship for winning the competition, and the Regional Chairman's Award, the highest honor bestowed by FIRST, essentially for having the best overall team. The regional director jokingly stated to me that we were a bunch of "award piggies." I half-jokingly reminded her that this was not a socialist event.

It was a good weekend.

Working 7 to 12, What a way to make a living...

That's 7 as in AM, 12 as in AM. God, I must love this job. Either that, or I do way too much crap. Stupid work ethic. Damn you Mom for raising me to be responsible!! I'd much rather be having a beer bought with my government subsidies, but NO!! You had to go and make me all educated and load me up with the idea to take pride in my work. Now here I am in a dark, lonely school building all by myself, typing up lesson plans for my substitute that's taking over while I'm out being a respectable sponsor of both the robotics team and the academic bowl team in the same weekend in two towns at least 2 hours apart. What I wouldn't give to be working on the POS truck and beating up on my wife and kids instead.

Come to think of it... thanks Mom.

Return of the Plague

Let me preface this with a little background info. I am an advisor for our school's FIRST robotics team, a national robotics competition for high school students all over the country. This year, we entered two regional events, the first of which occurred last weekend, Mar 4-6, at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, VA. We left Wednesday evening for the Thursday-Saturday event.

Everything was going well. The competition was proceeding better than expected for our team, in 9th of 63 by Friday evening. Had a few good meals courtesy of sponsors and what not, had a good time meeting people from other teams. Then...

Friday night, around 11 pm, we're back in our hotel. The mentor students from GA Tech (god bless her) were along with us. Everyone is hanging out, having a good time. Then I get the first report. One of the Tech kids puked. No big deal, no telling what wacky college kids were up to. Maybe some alcohol. Seemed unlikely. Maybe some bad food? Who knows? Not one of our high schoolers, he can take care of himself. Then, 15 minutes later, it's one of our girls spewing. Did they eat at the same place? Well, we all ate at the sponsor event. Uh oh. 10 minutes later, one of our boys has decided to revisit his earlier meal. Crap, what's going on? Over the course of the evening, probably 10 of the 44 people on our bus were afflicted with some type of stomach bug. Not good.

At the competition site the next day, turns out we're not the only team in this situation. A lot of teams are down 3-15 kids due to this illness, whatever it is. Probably a little less than half the attending people.

Turns out we had an outbreak of some strain of a norovirus, aka the stomach flu. Not surprising considering how many objects exchange hands. Every team has giveaways with their team names and numbers on them, buttons, pens, cool blinky things, etc. And our team was gracious enough to provide a nice contamination zone via an Internet cafe style setup in the lobby.

It was cool, got to clean up some puke on the bus, watch a few others vomit in trashcans. On the return trip home, we quarantined the sick to the back of the bus. They turned green at the mere mention of food or blowing chunks. So, I was gracious enough to provide the others with a top ten list of forbidden words for the ride home.
10. vomit
9. puke
8. upchuck
7. hurl
6. spew
5. blow chunks
4. ralph
3. barf
2. reverse peristalsis
1. uneat

I told them if we go back to VCU next year, one of our giveaways should be those SARS masks with our team logo on it.

Why I Don't Have Pets

Take this weblog for example. If posts were its food, it'd only weigh around the mass of a few electrons by now, if it were lucky enough to survive this long on other peoples lost posts and its own waste.

I Am A Thrust-ship

I am a Thrust-ship. I am small and tricky - where you think I am, I probably am not. I can work very fast, but I tend to go about things in a round about way, which often leaves me effectively standing still. I hate rocks. Bloody rocks. What Video Game Character Are You?