business proposal

How lucrative do you think that stealing 500+ parking meters would be? Most of us realize that it would be chump change. Not worth the risk of imprisonment for a handful of quarters. But I have a much better idea.

First, we have to start a legitimate business. Let's start an importation business. One that imports parking meters, say. And then we bid out to the local Atlanta government to replace broken/stolen/lost meters. Not enough business you say? Wait, there's more.

The second phase of our strategy requires that we contract with a shady business to "service" existing meters. Service as in "with hacksaws." This partnership would understandably be explicitly unwritten and consist mostly of nods exchanged across a public area, such as a park or a restaurant.

Don't think it would work? Let's see...

Despite the thefts, little is being done to catch the parking meter pirates.

That's because city officials do not file police reports on the stolen meters, Jennings said. The city's police department said thefts that are not reported are not investigated.

"Well, we certainly note it in our inventory that the meters have been lost," she said. "It's a loss of inventory for us, similar to any other asset we would lose."

They don't seem to mind. Why should we?