Kim Jong Illin'

The woes of the North Korean man now extend beyond obtaining essential resources for survival and dodging those Evil Capitalists. Now he has to get a haircut.

The reclusive communist country is waging a hair war, telling its male population to lose the long locks, cut the coiffures and mow the mane to conform to "socialist style" — no longer than two inches.

Apparently, with the exception of that year or so around my wedding, I've been kickin' it "socialist style" for my entire life.

The reason for the move to short "socialist hair"? "Long hair hampers brain activity by taking oxygen away from nerves in the head."

Guess that explains Poison.