best kind of news

I love these stories about home invaders breaking into someone's house and leaving in a black vinyl bag. Piss on you pansy pants pinko punks that think that gun ownership is the devil.

beer and hockey

Thrashers finally win one and I get to relax with a few brews. Two of my favorite things. They rank right up there with steak, poontang, warm socks, dark chocolate, snow, puppies, widgets, smart kids, things that smell good, bowling, ramma-ramma-ding-dong, elements that start with T, artificial sweetners, double-12 dominoes, dental floss, garbage disposals, online banking, wandering the aisles aimlessly in The Home Depot, nineteen, Snap, Crackle, but certainly not Pop, traffic cones, indoor plumbing, guys who lift the seat at public restrooms, lipstick lesbians, deadly force against criminals caught in the act, clean motor oil, words that rhyme with purple, Regis Philbin ties, salmonella-free PB, air hockey, and hot now doughnuts.

Go Thrashers!

green is the new black

You Are Heineken

You appreciate a good beer, but you're not a snob about it. You like your beer mild and easy to drink, so you can concentrate on being drunk. Overall, you're a friendly drunk who's likely to buy a whole round for your friends... many times. Sometimes you can be a bit boring when you drink. You may be prone to go on about topics no one cares about.

What's Your Beer Personality?

Not a big Heiny fan but I'll drink it when the only other options are Bud and Miller. A better green bottle beer would be Stella, or Urquell. And I'll buy a round as long as I know my company will return the favor sometime.

i'm a sucker for these, too

You Are Most Like Ronald Reagan

People tend to think you're a god - or that you almost ruined the country. But even if people do disagree with you, they still fall victim to your charms!

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

Good thing it doesn't include VPs considering all of those times I shot my friends in the face.

don't vote for crack, vote for smack

Playing around on the internet, I found this site that gives you a 9th grade version of the chemistry of your brain on a number of popular recreational drugs. If nothing else, you get to toss mice around like a Real Lab Scientist. If you know anything about brain chemistry you'll understand why some of these seem pretty fun but also extremely stupid. I always plead with my students at least once a semester to save that crap for college where they've at least finished the bulk of their development from the teenage years.

subtle

Didn't watch the State of the Union. I prefer to read the summary the next day because I can't stand the incessant applause when all I want is for the speech to continue. But I couldn't help but miss the tag line on CBS for the "Democrat response" when I was flipping channels. It was titled "Democratic Response." As if the speech were un-democratic. Fascist or something? Har har. That's hilarious Mr./Ms. Staffer! Retards. Don't worry, the channel has already been changed. Not that there's anything good on TV right now anyhow.

excuses

Reggie Ball gets a 'D'. Unfortunately, it's not a 'D' of the variety that will save his ass when he's sucking it up on the field.

early christmas 2006

Best news I've heard all month.

It's the forced coaching decision that should have been made voluntarily more than a month ago during game play against Georgia. I guess I'll have to beleive in divine intervention, even if it only happens either during Hannukkah or right before Christmas.

Just A Good Ol' Boy

Does this sound the least bit shady?

Wouldn't be an issue under the Fair Tax.

get perpendicular!

What do you get when you cross nerds, SchoolHouse Rock, bad 70's jive music, a marketing team with too much crack rock, and a creative department with too much time on their hands?

The answer is here.