The Great Demotivators

I used to enjoy working. No, really, I did. I think that most of us are driven by some internal motivation to be productive. Whether that's through making stuff, making it easier to make stuff, selling stuff, etc., I think that a majority of us are interested in doing something other than sitting around watching 'the stories.' And I was. My product is completely intangible. Education is not easily quantified or counted or measured, despite popular belief. I always had to take those standardized test scores with a grain of salt to judge my effectiveness. But that wasn't my motivation. I was interested in making the next step easier for these kids. Whether that be a job, college, or whatever, I just wanted them to take away enough to make it a bit easier. And I'll do whatever it takes. 70 hour work week? Okay! Pile on some high-maintenance extra-curricular activity advisement, especially on weekends? Why not? Something made me want to keep pushing forward, no matter what kind of absolute shit they decided to throw my way.

Now I'm just fucking sick of it.

I hate to be so blunt about it, but it's really gotten old. And so quickly, too.

Exhibit A
"Boo hoo! If I'd have gotten one more point on one of my labs I didn't resubmit after you let me have the opportunity to rewrite it, I'd have had an 89.54% which is somehow magically an A."

So let's see... It didn't seem to matter to you last semester. Why the fuck does it matter now? Do you have any evidence? No. Do you have anything other than some vague recollection about something I kind of said? No.

I tried to be understanding. Maybe I miscommunicated something. I don't know. But when I went to fill out the form to change the grade so he could have his bullshit A, I just couldn't sign the paper. I kind of feel badly because I said I would. But I'd feel worse if I actually changed it.

Exhibit B
The W-2.

How can it be justified that 23.56% of my check is missing before I even get a chance to hack away at it more with insurance premiums and retirement contributions? Let's not even mention the fact that I'm still going to be paying property taxes, ad valorem taxes and sales tax on every item I buy. If they could figure out a way to do it, I'm sure they'd start assessing an oxygen tax. Respirate slower or pay the price!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!?

Where is my profit motive? How can you tax me on my productivity? Let me get this straight. I don't do a damn thing, I don't pay any taxes. I start to become a benefit to society and OH!... I getting taxed! Huh?!? Somehow, that other 75% is supposed to be an incentive? Wha? It's absolutely criminal. I'd be locked up if I took 5% of someone's stuff, even if I were doing something nice in return like paving their driveway, mowing their lawn, shooting intruders, housing evacuees, etc.

Hell, I understand that we have to pay for roads, courts, law enforcement, and all that. But do I really have to put Sharnequa, her 5 babies, and a baby daddy or two up in the hotel for 6 months or more? A week or two? Maybe. Hell, it'd be nice if someone helped me a little if it turned out that it really wasn't a good idea to set up shop several feet below sea-level right by the sea. Wouldn't it be nice if the helpers had a choice? Especially between a few weeks and a few months? It seems like there are tons of lawyers willing to go to bat for the hotel dwelling folk. Where are the ones stepping up for the people footing the bill?

Two words. Fair Tax.

Somehow, I think I got off of my main point there. But where is my incentive to do better? Especially as an educator. Wait, I mean teacher. Did you know that pay is based solely on highest degree obtained and years of service? I do a good job, I get paid. I do a horrific job, I get paid. The same amount. The same amount! I'd get paid the same amount to watch kids walk around a track that I do teaching Advanced Placement Chemistry. Wow, I could get paid $20 something an hour to babysit? Sadly, yes. But I don't.

Damn that part of me that still wants to do a good job!

Rag

I am still trying to figure out why I even bother looking at it anymore. I feel the same about the Neal Boortz site, but I'm still compelled to at least check it out. Perhaps it's the rare gem among the piles of garbage that keeps me coming back. But to today...


Today's biggest news? A lady that can help you frame up a cheesy proposal at a totally unexciting and un-memorable winery that sits directly on the interstate highway.

No. The elections in Iraq. I'm sorry, but this is probably the most momentous news story today. This is the first real election (does the temporary government election count?) in a country that has lived under dictatorial rule for decades. That is important world news of significance to everyone, especially those that live in an already "free" democratic republic. A whole nation is shifting to one of the most successful government styles to date and this is not worthy of the largest headlines? It gets buried under "pixelated pet pictures", Michael Vick's injury status, Arthur Blank's prospect of buying the Braves, and "pesticide-free Christmas trees"? At least the Christian conservatives are happy that they're not calling it a 'holiday' tree. And then it's not a headline like, "First official elections in Iraq", or anything even remotely positive. It's "Iraq voters brave bombers." I guess there's supposed to be one posted out at every corner just waiting for someone with a purple finger to walk by to pull the cord. And they have the audacity to ponder why subscriptions have been tanking?

I wouldn't even lay this paper out for a puppy to be housebroken.

*shrug*

Okay, how long has it been now? Three, four months since Katrina? And there are still people living in temporary housing?!? Why? My guess is that "temporary" is either no longer a vocabulary word they teach (because you teach those now instead of learning them from written context) or the definitions of words in the English language have become totally elastic. (think use = purpose, a la Kelo) Now we have temporary = permanent?

My favorite line from the article has to be this one:

"It is unimaginable what anxiety and misery these erratic and bizarre vacillations by FEMA have caused these victims, all of whom, for at least one point in time, had the very real fear of being without shelter for Christmas," Duval said in his 27-page ruling.

Boo. Fucking. Hoo!

That hadn't been a thought before then? Of no concern before you knew the deadline? Oh, you haven't received your housing subsidy check yet? What the fuck were you doing before the hurricane? How did you pay for shit then? Oh, you had a job? You actually traded goods and or services for money that you then exchanged for other goods and or services? But now, here you go, sitting right in that luxury suite totally skipping the first part where you actually contribute to society. (don't think it's a luxury suite? just ask the homeless dudes downtown how it compares to their accomodations)

Why do we continue to let these leeches bleed us to death? More importantly, who is letting them do it? $350 million? That's quite a chunk of change. How can you take it? Oh, it's so noble us giving more charity than we can afford. They had a name for this type of wealth redistribution. They called it communism. How can those of us that actually produce and generate for the nation's economy fight back? Who's going to court for us? How do the tax payers get a class action lawyer on our side?

I'm completely, one hundred percent serious. Who do I talk to?

Now I Remember

If these are the Seven Wonders of Gwinnett County, it's really easy to remember why I don't live there.

It's probably only one reason if you think about it, but the two main reasons are that the Bass Pro Shops is considered a wonder and the ratio of UGA:Tech fans approaches a limit of infinity minus one to one.

When You Look At It That Way...

It really isn't that bad here. At least we only get in trouble for teaching theories. Well, theories that aren't based on faith. Those are perfectly fine to teach.

Now read this.

I'm looking ahead and thinking that if we allow Intelligent Design in to the science classroom, we might eventually get our own lashings.

The Omnipresence of It

I have to admit that I'm a little bit of two things. First, I'm a little bit of a coffee junkie. But not just any coffee, I likes it real strong. Strong enough to bend spoons. Secondly, I'm also a little bit of a coffee snob. Folger's just doesn't cut it for me. I like my beans way over-roasted. I'm talking beans so dark that even Jesse Jackson himself is scared to see them walking behind him late at night. That's why I hit the local Starbucks. But I'm no dummy. I sure don't want to be no full-time caffiene junkie so I only go on Fridays. I also don't want to be broke. Don't let them fool you. As much as they try to pretend to be leftist propagandists they sure do know a little bit about profit motive, supply and demand, and equilibrium price.

But their newest trend in political correctness is just a bit too much for me. Want to know what I'm talking about? Lookie here. Did you catch it? There at the bottom right of the graphic? Probably not because I think it's intended to be subliminal. What is it? Yes. What? It. No seriously, what is it? Exactly.

"It only happens once a year"

What? Christmas, duhr! Are you a buffoon? Look at the other graphics. Last I checked, not a lot of religions other than Judaism have big holidays around the same time. How many times have you seen Muslims out putting up Eid al-Fitr lights? How about lights for the death of Zoroastrian prophet Zarathustra? That's right, none.

A big fart in your faces to the execs at Starbucks. Stop pretending you aren't pushing your $5 gingerbread lattes to your clientele that consists primarily of white, suburban, upper-middle class, Christian teenagers and Gen-Xers with nothing better to spend their money on than your concotions and a few tabs of X.

Whew!

Scary. We were this close to fascism.

I Want Some New Shoes!

To the guy whose yard I walked through and got dog poo on my shoe, your ass is toast! I was humiliated to have to scuff my shoes across the grass trying to remove the amazingly sticky butt goo from my traction-optimized soles of my water-resistant Columbia brand hybrid hiking/walking shoes. And there is still a little bit left in the hard to reach places. I'm so embarrassed to be the guy who makes everyone check their shoes in the grocery store check-out lane. So, in addition to the new shoes, you owe me $3 million dollars for mental trauma and lost wages. I can't go to work because I can't put on shoes for fear that I might touch dog poo.

A ridiculous scenario? Not if crap like this (no pun intended) is allowed to go through.

At what point is it a private company's responsibility to make sure your posterior does not become the butt of someone's practical joke? Besides, I could always glue my own ass to a terlit seat and probably would for $3 million dollars. Hell, I'd do it for $20 and a bottle of acetone.

What I'm really asking is do you really want to have to go home to use the crapper? I'm just saying that if I were the business owner and frivolous lawsuits like this one cost me a couple million bucks, I might reconsider even providing the facilities in the first place. "Oh, but they were out of seat covers!" Do you use them at home? Ever thought of making one out of toilet paper? How is The Home Depot responsible for some teenager punk putting a little adhesive on a seat as a pretty darned good practical joke? And if you think I would have taken your perma-seat situation seriously when I entered the restroom, you're probably only kidding yourself. Even if that was the problem, shouldn't you be suing that guy, not the store? I don't remember receiving job training that included what to do when a customer's ass gets glued to the toilet lid. Oh, so you were inconvenienced and em-bare-assed? Suck it up and chalk it up as the one interesting thing that happened to you in your entire life. Do you know how entertaining your story would make even the boringest of parties? Hell, you could turn bingo night into a fun evening.

We Have a New Leader!!

A new leader for what? A new leader for the list of the stupidest people I've ever met.

Late in the summer I received a summons for jury duty. Awesome! Problem was that it happened to be the same week I had already committed to attend a wedding. I wrote a letter asking for a postponement and it was granted. Well, it started today.

After arriving and checking-in, I was herded into a small room about 20'x20' with about 100 other potential jurors. The coffee was stale and the whole room reeked of assorted perfumes and colognes. Finally, we were addressed and we watched an exciting video about the judicial process. I can't believe people don't already know these things. I mean, have you never watched Law and Order? But it did introduce the entire court staff and judges so that was neat (snore).

So then we're instructed to wait around indefinitely. I wish I had been prepared for this part. Don't worry, I learn quickly. Apparently, everyone else got some secret directions to bring books, computers, etc. I didn't get that memo. Thanks a lot! But there was some free reading available if I wanted to choose between Redbook, Better Homes and Gardens, newspaper from last Thursday or free government agency brochures. I chose the latter. But hey, now I know that our fire, police, and water departments are the recipients of various unmemorable awards I had never heard of! And I also found out that old people smell weird! And never under any circumstances should you put seafood into a microwave in a small room with limited ventilation!

After about an hour of that excitement, they pulled us together. They read the names of about 15 people to head off into a courtroom. I wasn't one of them. Boo!! So we dispersed again. This time I went to sit in the hallway. No sooner did I sit down before we were herded once again for another call. This time, they did call my name! It was about the only one they didn't mutilate when pronouncing it.

After being lined up and being told to get rid of chewing gum, we were paraded in. I got the cool end seat on the front row. And boy was the chair comfy after sitting in the stiff, why-do-they-pretend-they-padded-these seats in the first room?!

Then the judge started explaining the process to us again. No biggy! Take an oath, answer some questions. Selection would take place after the series of questioning.

But first... they had heard that some witnesses were in the lobby area of the courtroom discussing the case. Asked us if we had seen or heard them. Only one person had seen the guy she was talking about but hadn't heard anything. Judge decides to move on, but defendant interjects that he doesn't believe us. Judge says we took an oath, we have no incentive to tell an untruth, moving on. He mutters something about the jury didn't look to be his peers...something something. All I could figure by this was that we weren't black and we had teeth.

So questioning starts. The prosecutor does her job. She's nice and polite and she asks us those hard questions in a way that makes it seem like she doesn't want to ask them, but must. You could tell this was a DUI case by the line of questioning. Anybody abstain from drinking? Well, the minister does. The other 14 of us know how to party! Ever convicted of DUI? Family members? etc, etc, etc. Then it's time for the defense to question. Well, forgot one important point...

First indicator of stupid: representing self. In retrospect, I find it likely that the gentleman has experience in law (perhaps 'with the law' would be a better term) but I seriously doubt an ounce of training in the area. Perhaps the courtroom decorum was the dead giveaway. Perhaps it was the fact the he didn't look like he knew what was supposed to happen next or what his role was. Who knows, but the judge had counsel on standby for some time but he was dismissed once jury questioning began. But that is no indicator of guilt, so let's proceed.

Now it's his turn to question. Okay, ready. First you have to ask a question. That's sort of the definition of questioning. Once started, his questions were of the variety that one might expect if you were questioning a witness, not a potential juror. But he has the right to know details of events that had been disclosed during the prosecutor's questioning. So let's proceed. But now you're just beginning a lecture. That's called an opening statement. Judge stops him, tells him as much, and we find that he never had any real questions to begin with. All that's left is for each of us to state name, occupation, spouse's occupation, number of children, what area of the county we live in, and how long we've been living in the county. We're dismissed for a few minutes with the instruction of not talking about the case with anyone, even other jurors. And due to the allegation that witnesses were located in the outside area, were instructed to move further away if necessary.

Well, it was necessary. You could pick out who they were speakign of by the fact that they had on the same weird "badges" as the defendant. Some placard on a lanyard with the scales of justice and some print too small to read from a distance. I sit and the guy takes a call on his cell phone. He starts talking loudly about how jury selection has started and something about 'not his peers' before I'm far away enough to not be able to comprehend what he's saying. I look back and the bailiff is esorting him and the defendant into a conference room off to the side. It appears that jury tampering was the motive, but it seems to be unsuccessful. We're called back in, so let's proceed.

Now it's time for striking jurors. Defense goes first. I vaguely remember learning that at some point. Okay, who do you want to strike? (crickets chirping) Judge tells him he has the right to participate in the process, asks if he wants to. Nothing. Not a yes, no, nothing. Dummy indicator #12 by this point (I forgot other details like the fact that he didn't want a record/transcript, then he did, and other small details). He refuses to say anything. Judge calls him and prosecutor to the bench. Asks him what's going on. Let's him know that refusing to participate will result in a contempt of court charge. He says okay. Then the judge adresses the jury.

Basically, we're dismissed from this case. Explains the judicial process to us in front of the guy. Explains that he was found competent, he just doesn't think that the laws apply to him. Explains that this is not the first time the case has tried to go to court. (the charges were from March) And basically that he was willingly refusing to participate (which was obvious). He keeps trying to interrupt but she keeps him quiet. Then she tells him that she knows that he was just trying to get another continuance so he could go free while delaying the inevitable again. Then she has him carted off in cuffs for contempt to be held until he was willing to let the trial proceed according to the Constitution. Because we're not on the case, she explains to us that she usually doesn't talk to the jury that way, it was just a strange situation and she didn't want us to be too confused about the process.

You dumb bastard. So now, a new leader on the stupidest people I've ever met list. He's lucky I haven't met Ted Kennedy.

I'm Confused

The media and many politicians have been telling me that the economy in the US is bad. Yet, for the 12th consecutive quarter, the Fed has raised the interest rate. Hmmm... so who's lying to me, them or "Big" Willie B., my econ prof from college?