Hell Yes!

Scowling wilfully towards Autobot City, you're Megatron!

Look in a mirror and feel the evil. Then eat the mirror. You eat mirrors for breakfast. You are a badass death robot. You busted on Optimus Prime. You. Are. Megatron. Go outside and burn some animals, because you're worth it.

Declare your pre-Galvatron-ness with the following non-heat-sensitive emblem:

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Fueling Petty Feuds Since 1977

This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an eighty-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.

- George Foreman a la "Futurama" (1999)

It's all summed up in the e-mail I sent yesterday. Just read it.

First, I'd like to say that my interest in this issue is purely academic and had nothing to do with anything personal nor did I intend for my acts to be perceived as unprofessional. I am truly sorry that that is how I made you feel last Friday.

As any educator and life-student should, I faithfully encourage academic debate. I feel that it is an essential component in creating an environment that necessitates finding a means to an end, or an answer if you will. It is with this passion that I engaged in the debate regarding the ultimate death of our sun.

During our department discussion, I challenged your statement that our sun would eventually explode. I haven't studied astronomy for several years, but I was fairly certain that I remembered that our sun would expand into a red giant then collapse into a white dwarf where it would ultimately die its heat death. You rebutted with information about the temperature/pressure equilibrium and the Chandrasekhar limit and I conceded the debate at this point due to the fact that I admit that I haven't studied the matter in quite some time.

Later, I did some preliminary research and most of my findings agreed with what I had thought. At this point, I printed up the most concise article I could find regarding the issue, mostly because I didn't want to waste too much paper. I gave it to you at the end of the meeting, not to "prove a point" as you may have perceived but rather in hopes that perhaps you would provide information supporting your argument.

I read the material in the textbook that you then brought to me, the two entire chapters, and I still have found no evidence that the sun will explode. As a matter of fact, a blurb in the "brown box" titled Review: Critical Inquiry seems to suggest that my original hypothesis, that the sun would not explode, was correct. I have also located several supporting resources on the Internet. The source that most directly answers the question is offered by astronomers at Cornell University and can be found at the following URL.

http://curious.astro.cornell.edu/question.php?number=232

I would gladly accept any alternative suggestions from reputable sources. And if you are not fully convinced, I am willing to agree to disagree.

Sincerely,
Me

Now fully prepared for honest academic discourse, here was the response I received in its unedited entirety.

Thank you for pointing it out and we will keep on agreeing to disagree becasue discussion are good for the academic soul.
Him (not The Him)

Just to let you in on the real reason it's an issue... he's our astronomy teacher.

In the meantime, I'll chalk that one up as a victory.

Out In a Blaze of Boring

Friday was a really interesting day in Atlanta. I'm sure if you found this blog you already know what happened, at least the rough details.

I won't ask the obvious questions, like "How did he make it out of the courthouse?," or "If I can imagine that he might use MARTA why can't someone that has been through police training?" Sadly, I already know the answers to those questions.

What really bugs me is what went on after they caught the guy who had been called "a monster" for pretty much 24 or so hours until he was caught. All of the local channels pretty much cancelled all of their programming and resorted to covering every detail they had available after the guy was busted. If you rely on the bunny ears like me, that leaves 6 channels of Baptist church service programming and TBS. And the coverage might not have bothered me so much if the content had been different.

What followed was a series of reports on Brian Nichols. After hours of being an alleged suspect (is it still alleged when it's on tape and there are lots of witnesses?) the rest of the broadcast time was spent humanizing a man that had just cold-bloodedly murdered four completely innocent people. There were stories about the local semi-pro basketball team he tried out for complete with interviews with people saying they never suspected the type of behavior he exhibited the day prior. There were stories about where he had lived. There were probably other stories, too, but disgusted, I decided it was time to go to the driving range.

Why, after exhibiting such "bravery" and calling himself a "warrior" (apparently warriors go out of their way to slay unarmed judiciary employees) did he decide to go silently? Apparently because the woman he held hostage talked him down.

I'm glad he didn't hurt anyone else after the federal agent he happened upon in Buckhead, but I think most of us were hoping he'd not go out like such a pussy. I'd rather have paid for a few bullets than the inevitable drawn-out trial, the subsequent series of appeals to keep him off of death row, not to mention the expense of keeping him up in jail. I think we're definitely about to witness some of the shortcomings of our judicial system.

Perhaps if the media hadn't been swarming around like the most obnoxious busy-body on the block, the police might not have noticed the white flag of surrender.

Concerning Georgia's Smoking Ban Proposal

Sent to: Rep. Judy Manning and Sen. Steve Thompson

Feel free to forward to your state representatives.

Dear Congress Member,

I find the idea of a state-wide smoking ban enticing. A non-smoker for my entire life, I can't honestly say that I would not personally benefit from or even appreciate such a measure. But at the same time, I am more committed to the foundation that our country was established upon when our forefathers decided that a free-market system was the optimal solution for creating a sustainable and fruitious national economy.

While it is understandable that some people feel inconvenienced by another's decision to harm themselves for the perceived benefits of voluntary nicotine use, I also appreciate the fact that I, as an individual, have the option of using my power as a consumer to decide whether or not I would like to devote my patronage to an establishment that allows people to smoke. Our market system was designed to handle these pressures without the outside influence of legislators that feel the need or pressure from outside organizations to protect people from themselves. I sincerely hope that you do not view your position as such a job.

Yes, I have been "inconvenienced" by a smoker's decision to light up by the fact that I do not enjoy the odor or lingering effects, such as "smelly clothing" etc., of such behavior. But at the same time, I also recognize my ability to remove myself from such a situation if I deemed a good and/or service to not be of substantial quality or necessity to subject myself to such an environment. The side argument that employees of smoker-friendly establishments suffer unnecessary health consequences is valid up to the point where one considers the relative number of people that are affected compared to the number of people that are having freedoms limited through either being told that they cannot smoke or by being told through force of government that they cannot allow smoking within their very own place of business. Individual freedom should be the primary argument when discussing unnecessary regulation of private business. Those individual freedoms should include, but not be limited to, the right of business owners to allow legal consumption of a federally regulated good, the freedom of individuals to decide whether or not to consume such goods and the freedom of an employee to seek alternate employment if they feel that they are subjected to an unhealthy environment.

The idea of a statewide public ban of smoking is an unnecessary expenditure of time on the behalf of our state legislature and should be reprehensible to a public servant dedicated to preserving the individual freedoms that so many have sacrificed to provide for our generations and the next. I ask you to help to eliminate any measures to impose any such bans on public smoking and any other encroachment unto the rights of individuals to make decisions for themselves.

Sincerely,
Christopher L. Neill

Lesson Not Learned

I remember when Kelly Campbell, a former star wide receiver at Georgia Tech, was arrested the first time. I remember it because of several "drug-related" comments he had made during the sessions where I tutored him and several other players for some lame-ass textile engineering class we called "Socks for Jocks." The assertion at the time of the incident was that the pot belonged to his friend, the driver. Of course it did. Notice that nowhere in all of that did it state that he had not taken advantage of the use of his friend's supply, so maybe that was the honest truth. And of course the star receiver's drug test comes up "negative." Negative means bad afterall, doesn't it?

Apparently, this time he didn't have enough friends.

I feel like a cheesy-ass writer for Law and Order with that last line.

Is It Just Me?

Is it just me or is this headline completely inappropriate and hilarious?

Leave It to The Onion

The Onion puts an interesting spin on the teaching gig.

To be honest, I felt that way a little in some of the "on-level" classes I taught last year. What's interesting is how many of them raised their hands one day when I asked who was planning on going to college. Even the guy with a 47 average raised his hand. It's really not funny when he probably will manage to get a degree from some 13th grade "university".

B.O.

I wish I'd have had a can of Lysol handy today when I got near some of my students. Maybe they decided to pass on the bath because it's Friday, who knows? I'd have done the same thing this guy did.

Bet They Were Paying Attention

It's the typical classroom dilemma for the modern day science teacher. The little bastards just don't have the attention span to learn the 20 or so common polyatomic ions. They aren't willing to study the rules for naming ionic compounds. It's an uphill battle. You're looking for something... ANYTHING that will get their attention for at least 10 minutes of your 60 minute class. Then, you find it. Let's teach them to make bombs.

Real smart there, chief.

Hell, one of my students is having a hard time convincing me to demo a thermite reaction. Why, just today he was using the molecule kit to model TNT. I don't think he needs any encouraging from me.

Too Stupid to Realize They've Won

The Georgia state flag has been a big controversy for the past few years. The state legislature, under pressure from race warlords and, of all organizations, the NCAA decided to change the flag to the Bland Ol' Flag, aka "the blue one." Then, the rednecks got bent out of shape. It seemed they really liked that old rag they adopted in 1956 (integration, etc.) that was likely intended to be more inflammatory than they would like to admit in the Georgia history class they make all of the 8th graders take. So, they elected the first republican governor since Reconstruction, likely because he promised to let the people vote on the flag issue. The funny part is that the flag the 'necks were so fond of was not a choice, at least funny to me. The "choices" were the aforementioned blue one and the current flag that won.

Now the really funny part.

The people who obviously have nothing better to do than have meetings on the Capitol steps about how pissed off they are about not having the old flag back are still at it. There was a demonstration yet again, this time led by some elected official who desires the same thing these other bigots want (and it has nothing to do with "heritage" as they often proclaim). The funny part is likely missed by most. Why? Because they don't really know their history. What do I mean? Well, all I have to say is compare this and this.

Sit down, shut up, get a life.